The last few months have been...personally educational. I don't really feel like going into details, but just know I have been ALL over the place.
One of the most educational parts of it, was coming to terms with a wide spectrum of emotions. I think often times when we are greatly blessed in our life, when other elements and parts of our life are going along fine and dandy, when others seem to handle similar situations better (in our eyes), we feel guilty about feeling anything other than happy.
Let me tell you. Happy is NOT the only emotion. Sad is not the other choice. There is a wide variety, a plethora in fact, of emotions that we can, and from time to time SHOULD, feel. We feel guilty because other than this little thing (which can in actuality be a BIG thing for us) we shouldn't complain. Feeling emotions is not the same as complaining.
We are allowed to feel emotions like anger, frustration, confusion, betrayal, hurt, contentment, hope, jealousy, envy, (there is a difference between those two), sorrow, joy, happiness, esctasy, fear, acceptance, amusement, just to name a few. We SHOULD feel these emotions, and any others that come our way.
It is what we do with them that makes the difference. If we wallow in self-pity for a long time, that is not the same as taking some time to wallow. We need to feel the emotion, validate the emotion, learn from the experience, and work towards a more positive emotion (if we are experiencing a negative one).
There isn't a set time for how long we feel something. How do we know? I have wondered that quite a bit over the last few months. How long SHOULD I feel this way? How much more time can I take to heal? How am I supposed to feel now? I strongly feel like it isn't a set time, but what we are doing with it. Are we validating it, working through it, and looking forward to when we are feeling better?
I feel so blessed to have had wonderful people in my life who have pushed me to feel and figure out the TRUE emotion that I have been feeling, and not just the surface "sad" or "fine". When I allowed myself to feel and to not feel bad for feeling, I felt better, even when I was feeling attacked and betrayed. Every day is a new exploration as to how I feel.
I think if we each took more time to figure out how we were truly feeling, we would be better equipped to deal with it, no matter what comes our way. I am not saying it will all be sunshine and buttercups, but when we recognize the issue and emotion, we are more able to handle the issue. It will still be a process (LOVE THOSE!) (I seriously do!) but through the process, it will just be better as we are honest with ourself and allow ourself to FEEL.
I know this is rambly and all over the place, and if you have made it this far and you somewhat understand what I am saying...great job!
I just had to get it out there. Thanks for reading :)