Truly Letting Go

I had a final epiphany this week. I have been struggling with/through something for the last few months, and I came to the realization that I want to have people in my life that want me in their life. I deserve to have people who show me that they care, who show me they want me to be in their life. I want people who truly know me, instead of thinking they know who I am. I don't like when people make assumptions about me...you know what happens when you assume...This week I finally let go. Let me tell you, it has been a difficult road.

If there is someone/something in your life that has been a good thing, it can be almost impossible to truly let go until you get to that point for yourself when you understand that you aren't being true to yourself, to who you are trying to become, to your future. It makes me sad to have to be done with this part of my life, but it wasn't making me happy, I was trying to fix something that apparently wasn't worth mending, and I came to the realization that I deserved more.

I even have a reminder on my mirror :)

I have done all I can do. Now I get to move on. Truly letting go is liberating.

Quick shout out to my friends and family who have been a huge support through the last few months! THANK YOU!!

My mom...

This past week, my mom, this adorable lady, had a birthday!

I was thinking about the example she has been to me throughout my life, all she has done for me, and it got me to thinking, how do I show my appreciation for all she has give and done, all her sacrifices, and her example?

The answer came to me in the example of the Savior..."go and do likewise".

My mom will most likely be embarrassed by this post, but I have to share the thoughts about her example. I can strive to become like she is, to be giving, serving others, to have a great sense of humor, to be humble and prayerful, creative and crafty. I don't think she has any idea at how amazing she really is. If I can "do likewise" to her life, I will become an amazing person. AND, as I become like her, I will also become like my Savior, Jesus Christ. She has been that example to me.

SO, I encourage you to find people in your life, and determine what qualities they show you, and then "go and do likewise", or "go and BECOME likewise". You will be happier for it. I promise!

Emotional Ramblings :)

The last few months have been...personally educational. I don't really feel like going into details, but just know I have been ALL over the place.

One of the most educational parts of it, was coming to terms with a wide spectrum of emotions. I think often times when we are greatly blessed in our life, when other elements and parts of our life are going along fine and dandy, when others seem to handle similar situations better (in our eyes), we feel guilty about feeling anything other than happy.

Let me tell you. Happy is NOT the only emotion. Sad is not the other choice. There is a wide variety, a plethora in fact, of emotions that we can, and from time to time SHOULD, feel. We feel guilty because other than this little thing (which can in actuality be a BIG thing for us) we shouldn't complain. Feeling emotions is not the same as complaining.

We are allowed to feel emotions like anger, frustration, confusion, betrayal, hurt, contentment, hope, jealousy, envy, (there is a difference between those two), sorrow, joy, happiness, esctasy, fear, acceptance, amusement, just to name a few. We SHOULD feel these emotions, and any others that come our way.

It is what we do with them that makes the difference. If we wallow in self-pity for a long time, that is not the same as taking some time to wallow. We need to feel the emotion, validate the emotion, learn from the experience, and work towards a more positive emotion (if we are experiencing a negative one).

There isn't a set time for how long we feel something. How do we know? I have wondered that quite a bit over the last few months. How long SHOULD I feel this way? How much more time can I take to heal? How am I supposed to feel now? I strongly feel like it isn't a set time, but what we are doing with it. Are we validating it, working through it, and looking forward to when we are feeling better?

I feel so blessed to have had wonderful people in my life who have pushed me to feel and figure out the TRUE emotion that I have been feeling, and not just the surface "sad" or "fine". When I allowed myself to feel and to not feel bad for feeling, I felt better, even when I was feeling attacked and betrayed. Every day is a new exploration as to how I feel.

I think if we each took more time to figure out how we were truly feeling, we would be better equipped to deal with it, no matter what comes our way. I am not saying it will all be sunshine and buttercups, but when we recognize the issue and emotion, we are more able to handle the issue. It will still be a process (LOVE THOSE!) (I seriously do!) but through the process, it will just be better as we are honest with ourself and allow ourself to FEEL.

I know this is rambly and all over the place, and if you have made it this far and you somewhat understand what I am saying...great job!

I just had to get it out there. Thanks for reading :)

Wait for Halloween?? NO WAY!

Another reason I love my job?

I get to use my creatively gross make-up skills.



Each year we do a simulated emergency, and we have victims. This year, I suggested that we could put make-up on the victims, instead of just using a piece of paper with a description on it. I was able to use my Theater Make-up Class skills from back in the day, and it was SO fun!

Recapping, for your catching up pleasure :)

I decided that a good way to start this blogging year goal joy is to catch up with what has been going on the last little while in my life.

*Work: I am still working as a Hall Advisor. I realized recently how much it irks me when people don't realize what I do for work. What I mean by that is so many people presume I am working part time as a Resident Assistant (which I did as a student for 2 years many moons ago). I then get to tell them that I do have a 'grown-up' job that is a full-time job with all that goes with it. I hate to say it, but I am kind of a big deal ;). I LOVE the RAs that I am working with this year, and my associate HA is someone I worked with back when we were both students, so it is fun to have an old friend. Russ and his wife, Adri, are just fun to be around and great to work with. I am living in one of the new Heritage buildings. (For those of you familiar with BYU, it is where Deseret Towers used to be located.) I love seeing the growth and development of the residents and just the fun that they bring to my life.



*Family: The Kennedy family has been growing! Baby Teagen joined our family at the end of July, and in December, Baby Oliver joined our family as well! I feel blessed to have been able to meet and cuddle all of my nieces and nephew (the older ones are less cuddly and more play-ey). I LOVE being an aunt!


It is a little sad to me, that I have exciting things for my work and family, and nothing really else to report about in a recapping form. However, I am looking forward to adventures in the New Year! Let me know what else you want to know about in my life!

A goal...not a resolution...

So, I like goals, rather than resolutions. Here is one to share with the class. I am making the goal to blog at least once a week. Let's see how it goes!!!!