Invisibility

Preface: This blog is just more of a word vomit experience, don't worry about me :).

After a recent experience I have come to 2 connected realizations.

1. Feeling invisible because of the way people around you are treating you can be one of the worst feelings. Being treated like a non-entity is painful, disheartening, disappointing, frustrating, and just heart-breaking. I consider myself a pretty self-confident person when it comes to being around people; I don't always go out of my way to introduce myself to everyone I meet, but I try to make eye contact and smile at people...those I know and those I don't know yet. However, when people you know, or used to know, won't make eye contact, ignore your presence completely, and painfully ignore you, it can do a number on you.

I don't want this to be a pity party for me, but my goodness! I don't get it.

2. I NEVER want to make someone feel invisible. If I have ever made you feel invisible, I profusely apologize. Each one of us is worth more than that. Even if there is someone I don't particularly care for, or we are on the outs, I don't want to ever be the cause of them feeling less than the worthy person that they are. I try to be a person that lifts others, and helps them to realize their potential and worth. Because of this experience, I am more devoted to smiling at people when I see them, making eye contact, even throwing in a head nod once in awhile. I think with that practice, I can get more in the habit of introducing myself and really getting to know them, and finding out for myself the great person I am sure they are!

Fathers

I have been thinking a lot about fathers recently. This would make sense, as Father's Day was just a few weeks ago. I realize that not only have I been incredibly blessed to have an amazing father who sacrifices so much for our family, but I have other men that have become other fathers.

I have one dad that has been my dad for over 20 years. He is my best friend's dad. I always joked that if I had run away as a kid, I would have run straight to their house. Why? Because I had my other family there. I know that I can always talk to this dad about anything. He and his wife have been aware of me, have been generous and giving, and helped instill a confidence in me that has greatly helped me in my life.

I have another dad that is British, but I met him in Bulgaria. He in fact told me that I had been adopted into their family. I love our chats on the couches in Varna, and I miss him dearly. He had a way of making me feel special and useful on my mission.

Another dad of mine I like to refer to as my England Daddy (even though he is American). I had the privilege of meeting him while I was on a trip to England (thus the name) and I felt an immediate ease being around him. I felt welcomed and that he truly wanted to know about me. I have been able to continue my relationship with him and my England Mommy through time and moves and life! He is an example to me of service and commitment.

There are other men who have been like dads or uncles or men that I could count on in different stages of life. I have been incredibly blessed. These men are examples of worthy, honorable people who I am honored to know. They show me what kind of a man I hope to marry some day. They love me through time and distance and I never doubt that I am loved.

I am so grateful for my dad. He shows me how to love another through his relationship with my mom. I have never once questioned his devotion to her. I am grateful for that! I am grateful for his example of hard work and sacrifice. I am so blessed that he is my daddy.

I am also grateful for my Heavenly Father. He is the father of my spirit, and knows and loves me more than I can comprehend. He is aware of me all the time, offers me opportunities to learn and grow. He understands my pain and sorrow, my joy and happiness, my successes and shortcomings. I have hope because of His love for me. http://www.lds.org/plan/god-is-our-father?lang=eng

I am truly blessed by the fathers in my life.

Talents

I have been thinking about talents recently. Growing up, and even recently, when people ask, "What do you do?" or "What are your talents?" it was hard for me, because I think we often go to things like singing, dancing, drawing, other forms of visual art...things that are easily seen and enjoyed.

However, I realize a talent of mine is teaching. I enjoy it, I look forward to whatever it may be, from teaching RA class, to teaching at church, to teaching a friend how to sew, to teaching Health when I was in college. I have heard positive things about my teaching, and so I feel that although I can't really hang it up, or sing my talent, it is indeed there.

There are SO many un-showable talents. Just because you can't show them, doesn't mean they are worth less, or less important, or not as good as other ones. As we look for our talents on the spectrum of talents, I think we will be pleasantly surprised with the things we have been blessed with in our lives.

What are your talents?? :)

Happiness is...

Happiness is something that I think we too often rely on other people to fulfill in our lives. I know I have in my own life. However, recently, I have decided to choose to be happy. Now, don't get me wrong, there are some days that just stink. Sad/bad/upsetting/frustrating/disappointing/etc etc etc things happen. We need to still feel these things, but I think there can still be happiness, even in the valleys of life that can take us to a low place. There can be an underlying happiness and peace within us that gives us small things to smile about each day, and reasons to find goodness in a growing opportunity.

Happiness is...for each of us.

Another grown up thing...

I decided that I needed some more 'age appropriate' clothing. (YES, I love watching 'what not to wear' on TLC) SO, my friends, Wendy and Crystal graciously agreed to take me to the outlets in Park City. I would say we were pretty successful:





I have to say, that I feel better, and I get some really positive feedback from people around me. My insides and my outside are all sorts of matching up!