Have you ever been going through a process, and you are making progress, and then you do something that you know isn't good for you, but you just HAVE to do it? AND then you end up at least 1 step back from the progress you have been making?
I am not sure why I do that. Am I a glutton for punishment? Am I testing myself to see how much progress I really have made? Do I enjoy the pain? Or is that I hope the person somehow, in an odd way sees my pain and realizes how much hurt I am still experiencing?
I know I am doing well most of the time, but then there are moments where I know it will hurt, and yet I give myself that pain. (I am not physically hurting myself, just so you don't worry) Does it help me feel alive in an odd way??