I have realized that the question, "How are you?" can be a very tricky one, especially when you don't really know how you are. How do I feel? There is a tumult of emotion and feelings in my life right now, and I am not happy not really knowing how I am feeling. It is frustrating to not know how I am feeling, to try to know, to try to feel, to allow myself the full spectrum of emotions.
I apologize if I am answering that simple question in an odd way if you ask me for the next little while.
1 comment:
I think it's hard too because when someone asks "how are you" there are generally two ways they are asking: 1) Out of habit, expecting a casual, concise answer like "good" "well" "alright" or 2) They genuinely want to know HOW we are doing in more respects than our general mood. I find myself getting caught into responding to the first out of ease and as a way of avoiding facing a personal check up. How am I, really? Am I happy with where I'm at, where I'm going? It took me a few journal entries to sort our "How I am" and talking with a friend to truly answer the question and find the motivation to work toward the answer I wish I could give: "Life is great and I am finding so much fulfillment in what I am doing" etc. Note I say working toward. I'm finding that in working towards, I may be happier than I will be when I reach it. And for now, that makes me quite content.
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