Thoughts on Starting College

My baby brother left for college last week. He called me the morning he left home, and through my unexpected tears, I tried to impart as much wisdom as I could give him while still enjoying the few moments we had to share at the time. I talked to him about trying to make friends with people, and to not judge, because you never know who will really be your best friends. I reminded him that I loved him, and that I was proud of him, and to never forget that. I let him know that if he had any problems with his RA to call me (this is the helicopter sister coming out in me, and knowing how things SHOULD be with an RA :P).

As we hung up the phone, I had other thoughts and so much more advice to give him. I began to write them down, and thus this blog post was born. Here is the advice that has been going around in my head and my heart the last few days. Some is more serious than others, but I feel that it is all important!

Get to know your professors and TAs

• Be humble enough to ask for help. They are there to help. When you put forth effort, it shows! Take their advice, and be teachable.
• While being teachable, you will also want to be confident in the things you know to be true. Don't feel like you have to change everything to impress them.
• Take advantage of office hours! They are there for a reason. Even if it is to quickly clarify something, use the campus resources available to you!

Make eye contact with people

• It seems like we have turned into a society of ear buds and ignoring others. As you are going around campus, make eye contact and smile at people in passing. You never know what your smile can mean to that person

Take some classes just for fun

• Some of my favorite classes were just for fun, just because, and I LOVED them! You don't know what one class can do to change your outlook on life, or the direction of your life
• You can meet people that you wouldn't normally meet because they aren't in your 'regular' classes. 

Take time to find yourself

• I think we all need to be doing this throughout our lives, but the start of college is a great way to really start to hone this skill. 
• It is a time of change-allow the change! We are scared to not be who we are comfortable being, but as we allow for the changes a little at a time, we get to know ourselves in a new way and can really like the improved person.
• It is a time of discovery. People don't know who you were before, and you may have been trying to fit into a mold or the expectations of others. Take the time to discover who you truly are as you strip away the titles and roles that you have lived up to until this point in life. Enjoy the journey of discovery.
• HOWEVER, it's also more than okay to keep parts of yourself. Embrace the things you love about yourself and magnify your awesomeness. Don't feel like you have to go crazy just because you have this new found freedom and opportunity to redefine yourself. 

Be open, but don't overexpose yourself

• This may sound a little sketchy, but I mean it in the most appropriate way possible!
• Be sure to let people in, and let them get to know you, BUT not everyone needs to know everything
• There are parts of yourself that are special and personal and even sacred. Not everyone has earned, or deserves to know the deepest parts of  you right off the bat. 
• There are some things I have shared with very few people in my life, and that is okay. I see it as a good indication of how close I am with someone, and how much we have grown together.

College is different from high school

• Duh. :D
• You are the one responsible for your own learning. Parents aren't there to remind you to do your homework every day. You need to have the discipline to set the time aside each day to work on school things.
• It will take more time out of class than you think. 
• Planners can really be your best friend as you schedule things out. That's the beauty of getting the syllabus at the start of a class! You know what to expect, due dates, everything for the semester.
• You have to become a self-studier. This is when learning to say "no" to all the fun college things will come in handy. All-nighters are not all they are cracked up to be, believe me.
• Tests are not only on things learned in class. Textbooks are like a separate session.

Celebrate the little things

• Sometimes, the little things REALLY need to be celebrated.
• Getting a double digit percentage on some tests really is a celebration
• Rocking a cleaning check-celebrate!
• Random holidays-celebrate! (One of my favorite years of college was the one that we celebrated random holidays with weirdly connected celebrations, like playing leapfrog and eating grasshopper cookies on leap day.)

There are always people in your corner

• There are more people than you realize cheering you on.
• We are only a phone call away
• We will pick up the phone
• You don't have to go through things alone.
• We may be a challenge at times, but we are also your biggest supporters and will go to the mat for you all the time
• We love you!

The Community Progression Model is a real thing

• All relationships and communities progress through different stages. We start off in a pseudo community, then we have chaos (where we start to see differences). We then have the option to be open or closed about these differences, which leads to a healthy or closed community.
• This is not a solid, one time occurrence.
• As you develop, you will go back and forth through this model. It is such a healthy thing to do.
• One of the things I say every year with my new students is "Celebrate Chaos!" It means you are getting to a deeper level of a relationship, and it is getting real! yay!

The cafeteria is a wonderland!

• There will come a day when everything looks like it has already seen it's heyday, but that just lends to the creative juices!
• Find new food combinations.
• Don't worry about people judging your edible experiments.
• Find new ways of eating food you love!

This last thought is the most personal and so important:

Develop true, one-on-one relationships with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ

• You may feel like you are alone at times, but our Heavenly Father is always there, as is Jesus Christ.
• They know how you feel.
• They will always listen.
• They can guide you.
• It is a time for you to truly develop a relationship with them. You need to be able to know for yourself what you mean to them. You need to ask questions through prayer and listen for answers. Answers will come in different ways and at times you may not expect, but I know the answers will come.
• Questioning is okay, but you also need to truly strive to get the answers you are seeking.
• Allow yourself to live up to the divinity that is within you. You have amazing potential that you cannot be scared of. As you develop a relationship with Jesus Christ, and with Heavenly Father, you will be able to see more of who you are meant to be, and you need to allow yourself to become more than you initially thought possible.

These are some of the thoughts that have been floating around in my head and my heart since that choked up conversation last week. Take it or leave it, but I hope it is used well!

Oh, My Joy is FULL!

My heart is full with the joy and excitement of the first General Women's Meeting of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

All women, ages 8 and up all over the world were invited to attend the meeting, or a broadcast of the meeting. Leaders from the General Auxiliaries of the Church, including the Primary, Young Women, and Relief Society, hosted the meeting.

As a woman in the Church, I was curious to see how the meeting would be able to address needs of women from the young age of 8 to the more mature years. I was excited to learn, to grow, to feel, to hear, to know the truths that were taught. I was filled with the Holy Ghost, as the meeting progressed with music, talks, and presentations.

I have always felt a connection with music. Although I am not the most musically inclined person, I appreciate music and feel so much more with music than I do with other mediums. The choir was made up of girls, young women, and women from many stakes in Utah. The songs they sang were filled with strength and the Spirit, with truth and testimony, with beauty and bravery. Along with the actual singing, I absolutely LOVED how many moms and daughters were singing together, and holding hands or touching in some way while they were performing. I have to admit, I missed my mom a bit more during those parts. I was overwhelmed by the messages of love, hope, and determination in the music.

The talks that were given were beautifully basic. We were taught simply to be covenant keeping women. We were instructed on how to use our hands and lives for good. We were shown the example of others, and our Savior, on how to become more, to become who we are meant to be, to become that perfect (complete) person our Heavenly Father knows we are, even if we don't see it yet. I loved how all 4 speakers were able to beautifully intertwine concepts and truths throughout the meeting, while still presenting ideas in new ways that provided me with 'aha moments'.

The presentations reminded me of the beautiful fact that we are a worldwide sisterhood. I thought of my beloved sisters in Bulgaria, my cherished sisters from my younger years, and my treasured sisters with whom I get to interact on a regular basis these days. We may speak different languages, we may find beauty in different things, we may have assorted goals in life, but as President Henry B. Eyring said, "We are more alike as Daughters of God than we are different." There is greatness in our diversity, and strength that comes as we find connections, and as we remember the wise words of Marjorie Pay Hinckley, "Oh, how we need each other!", we will find unity and strength, no matter where we are geographically, spiritually, or emotionally.

One of the blessings from this meeting were the thoughts and inspirations that came to my mind. Yes, the words that were sung, spoken, and presented were well thought out, lovely, and true, but the thoughts and inspirations that came TO me are precious invitations to act, do, and become. I look forward to the processes in my life that will help me become the woman I am on my way to becoming as I fulfill my potential more and more each day.

Oh, my joy is full!

A Valentine's Day Victory!

I have been known as a person who can be quite vocal in my distaste for Valentine's Day. I don't like how commercial it can be, and how over the top some people feel they have to be to upstage last year's efforts (whether it is with the same person, or a new person). However, in recent years, I have been shown how much it can be about love in general. I have friends who celebrate with their children in fun ways, which makes it more enjoyable for me to see what they do.

I also took a very 'come what may' attitude about Valentine's Day this year. I had no expectations of secret admirers, declarations of interest/love, or having a 'special someone'.

Instead, I had several special someones!

The night before, I was able to babysit one of my nieces and my nephew, and we just had a blast! I love being able to hang with them, to hear their excitement for life, and their energy!

The Dollar Tree is a magical place to find cheap, fun projects!

Friday morning, I headed to the Provo temple. It felt like a great way to show love!

Later, I headed to Jiffy Lube to get some car stuff taken care of (all routine, no worries) and I was pleasantly surprised, not once, but twice, by carnations from the employees!

I will have to remember this for next year too!

Texts from best friends also made the day special!

I had to work that night, which wasn't a big deal. While I was in the office, two of my RAs came racing into the office with BIG smiles on their faces. As I wondered what they were up to, they busted out singing (with dance moves too) "L-O-V-E". Talk about making my night!

A late-night text with a picture of Tom Hiddleston caused quite the stir of JOY in my heart!

All in all, I was able to share the day with lots of people who are special to me!

The day then extended with a card from my parents that I picked up on Saturday!

I realize more and more each year that the holiday is what we make it. If we complain about the single awareness of it, that is what it is to us. If we use it as a day to express love and to celebrate the different types of love in our lives, then it can be a fun day and can bring happiness and love to those around us!

I now feel victorious over the Valentine's Day grumps!